A Deeper Understanding

Shmirah is the unconditional kindness of comforting the deceased by guarding the body and accompanying the soul from the moment of death until burial.

Introduction

After death and before burial, the soul stays near to the body with which it has had an intimate relationship for its whole lifetime. The soul is naturally “concerned” about the welfare of its body, and feels regret at no longer being able to participate in life. Before burial, the soul is thought to have an awareness of what is happening to its body.

Shomrim are the people who watch over and guard the body.  They comfort and keep the soul company between death and burial. Traditionally, this is done by reading Psalms in the presence of the deceased, some also read poetry, quietly speak to the deceased, or sing nigunnim (wordless melodies) to comfort the departing soul. Periods of silent contemplation and meditation are also appropriate.   Just being present is comforting, so too periods of silent contemplation and meditation are beneficial. The focus is on bringing consolation to the disembodied soul as well as to the family who appreciate that their loved one is not alone.

The body is guarded by a shomer (male) or shomeret (female). The shomrim (plural) are  “sitting shmirah” when they keep the body company. Shmirah comes from the Hebrew meaning “guarding.” It is customary to provide shomrim with the Hebrew name and biography of the deceased so they can connect more fully.

Sitting shmirah does not require touching the deceased or even being in the same room with them. However, shomrim are often within sight of the refrigerator or the casket, where the dead await burial.  Originally, this was to protect the body from animals, body thieves, or others who might try to violate the body in some way.  The physical presence of shomrim may not always be possible.

Spiritual guarding is keeping the soul of the deceased company.  For some, spiritual accompaniment is as important as the physical presence.  During Covid we learned that, even when we could not be physically present with our beloved, we could still “hold space” remotely in their honor.   Reciting prayers and focusing loving attention benefit their memory and ease their transition.  A virtual shmirah allows a larger community to participate and enables us to honor our dead even when we cannot be near them.

Details

Shmirah is needed from the time of death till burial. Jewish tradition values quick burial as part of our way of showing honor to the dead.  Today, Shmirah may include many people, over a number of days, as burial may not always be immediate, and may be delayed in order for family members to assemble from distant locations. Usually, shomrim will sit for a few hours, and then be replaced by others. Sometimes, shomrim sit in pairs, especially if one or both are new to the task. If the burial is significantly delayed, a virtual shmirah arrangement may enable a larger community to participate.

Shmirah has profound emotional implications and impact, not just for the departing soul, but also for the shomrim who seek to comfort it. Though primarily designed to ease the disorientation of the departing soul, there is something  powerful in knowing that one is performing an act for which there can be no thanks, since the deceased can no longer give thanks. That is why it is called “Chesed Shel Emet” – true loving kindness.

Shmirah can serve as an antidote to our natural fear of death, and helps us to understand this journey as another part of life. New shomrim are often surprised to find that despite their initial trepidation, performing shmirah proved to be an emotionally uplifting experience. Many shomrim have reported that it was a gift to experience the holiness that is felt in this liminal time and space, and the appreciation of life they felt afterwards.

When shomrim perform this mitzvah in pairs, a meaningful bond is created between them with the added bonus of serving as a powerful community building tool.

Shomrim are often volunteers but not always. Shmirah can offer consolation and comfort to the mourners. Those who do shmirah are usually not the primary mourners (although they can be). Sometimes shomrim are grandchildren, community members, friends, or others who understand how loving this practice is.

In some communities, teens are matched with adults. Sometimes non-Jews do shmirah along with Jews. Shmirah can be a good way for out-of-town relatives to re-connect with the deceased and the mourning process, especially when an online virtual shmirah arrangement has been set up.

Some communities have a “shmirah box” filled with various readings and books of Psalms which can be shared with different locations. Other communities have such resources available at the funeral home or online.

Resources to Learn More

• Textual Origins for Shemira and sample protocol by Rabbi Keilah Lebell
• Guidelines for Shemirah from IKAR – information intended to help shomrim understand what to do
• What Shmirah Means to Shomrim – Gail Tosto’s article helps newcomers understand what this work feels like
• Shomrim Handbook Outline by Susan Barnes, gives leaders guidance how to create a handbook for volunteers
• Virtual Shmirah Library is a list of resources by Gail Tosto for performing shmirah when not able to be near the body of the deceased
• “The Body Guards” –  Washington Jewish Week article by Richard Greenberg, Associate Editor
• Profound Shmirah Experiences in Recent Times – Shmirah for 9/11 and for Ruth Bader Ginsberg